I'd like to rearrange...your face

Things that really bother me while taking final exams:

1) Deep sighing
2) Vibrating phones (turn those bitches OFF)
3) Loud typing--is it necessary to batter your computer?
4) People that leave 40 minutes into exam (and it's three hours long)
5) Going blank (this one's totally on me--fault completely my own)
6) Rustling food bags--open it, get it over with, and for the love of God, please don't smack
7) Tapping and other random bodily twitches
8) People that make a big deal about leaving the room or asking a teacher a question
9) People who are apparently too stupid to quietly pack up their shit to leave

10) AND YOU, MOTHERFUCKER, slurping your goddamn Route 44 drink, WHEN IT'S OBVIOUSLY FUCKING EMPTY. 

I hope you fail....

I hope your girlfriend breaks up with you....

I hope you're diagnosed with a condition that makes it impossible to drink from a fucking straw. 

The Maiden's Ghostly Bell

Frommer's describes the great bell in Da Zhongsi as a bell so vast and beautiful it could "bring out the hunchback" in anyone.  The temple that was once called the Awakened Life Temple is located just outside of Beijing.  Since 1743, the temple has taken a new name.  It has become know as Da Zhongsi or The Great Bell Temple.  The Great Bell that resides in this temple is carved with over 200,000 characters in Chinese and Sanskrit and weighs more than 47 tons.  The bell is a huge attraction and is the 2nd largest bell in the world.  It is rung only once a year at New Years and is also said to be haunted.

According to Lafcadio Hearn, there is an old story attached to this bell that goes back over 500 years.    During this time the Great Emperor Yongluo who was said to be the son of heaven, from the Ming Dynasty, commissioned the construction of a great bell.  He ordered the bell be made of brass, gold, and silver so that when it rang it could be heard for over a hundred miles.  He commissioned the work from a master bell maker and  the work began.  Sadly, the construction of this bell seemed to be an impossible labor.  The bell maker worked night and day  and hired all the master molders of the empire to create this goliath creation.  Yet despite the most brilliant artisans and the best materials, the metals rebelled against each other and would not mingle.  Twice the master bell smith tried to make the great bell and twice he failed.

Yongluo heard of the bell smith's failure and grew angry.  He send him a letter that said:

      "From the Mighty Yongluo, the Sublime Taizong, the Celestial and August -whose reign is called "Ming"- to Guanyu the Fuyin:  twice thous hast betrayed the trust we have deigned graciously to place in thee.  If thous fail a third time in fulfilling our command, thy head shall be severed from thy neck.  Tremble, and obey."

The bell maker had a beautiful daughter, Ge-ai,  who he loved above all other things in the world and she heard of the words the emperor had sent to her father.  She loved her father greatly and set out to save his life.   She went to a fortune teller to see if there was anything she could do to save her father's life.   The fortune teller told her that the gold and brass in the bell would never meet in wedlock unless it was bound by the blood of a virgin.  Ge-ai didn't think long on this, but she went straight to her father's foundry.  There she found him preparing to cast the third bell.  As the metal poured, she leaped into the liquefied metal and vanished.  As she fell she cried out to her father that she died for love of him.   Ge-ai's father tried to leap in after his beloved daughter, but he was held back and all stood speechless.   Nothing of Ge-ai remained but a single red slipper.

The bell was cast and never had there been a bell of such beauty and size.   When it rang, it could be heard for more than a hundred miles and people said that in its ring they could hear the sound of  Ge-ai crying out.  She cried out for her lost life and  for her single, lost slipper.

Sometimes I amaze myself...

So I learned how to make gifs....and I was like

There goes my studying....

The Eager Beaver

It is my fondest wish that people who do this:

A. Go color blind
B. Fall off a cliff
C. Break both hands in a tragic chainsaw competition accident
D. Flunk their patent law test
E. All of the above

See how I highlighted JUST ONE THING? Because everything highlighted=nothing highlighted.

Moron.

Zombie Repellent for May Monster Madness

As the May Monster Madness Blog Hop continues, I wanted to remind everyone that protecting yourself from one of my favorite monsters, the zombie,  is easy.   I have written about this before, but this is an important safety tip you can't remind people of too often. All you have to do is drink trappist ales.

I have always been deeply concerned about the possibility of a zombie apocalypse.  I have also wanted to prepare for this apocalypse.  However,  I am lazy and cheap and most options for preparation seem difficult and expensive.  Buying guns and ammo is expensive.  Fortifying your home is expensive and it just sounds like a lots of work.  Cardio is exhausting.

This is my answer to all zombie problems.   Buy or brew trappist ales.  Trappist beer is a wonderful thing. There are seven breweries in the world that carry the official Trappist seal, and every single beer they brew is a masterpiece. All of these beers are brewed by actual Trappist Monks in monasteries. They are my favorite beers and if I have to sacrifice something for zombie safety,  thank God it is drinking one of these every day.  My personal favorite is Chimay Blue Ale.  Be careful,  this is a high gravity beer with an alcohol content of 11.5% and it may get you tipsy a little quicker than your average beer, but it is a worthwhile sacrifice if that is what is required to save yourself from zombies.

May Monster Madness

Daph from Daph's Dark Little Corner has won my May Monster Madness Giveaway!  You can find her at http://earthdancedaph.blogspot.com/ .  Thank you so much for participating and I hope everyone who stopped by enjoyed the hop!


Welcome to the May Monster Madness Blog Hop.  May is in bloom and it is six months until Halloween.  The wonderful Andrea Walls and Emma from Little Gothic Horrors have  put together a fabulous blog hop to celebrate the season.   For all those of you hopping to my blog for the first time, welcome to Ghost Stories and Haunted Places, a blog for all things haunted and haunting.  For this blog hop I have put together a goodie bag of assorted haunted and monster items.   First, I will be giving away copies of my books, Haunted North Alabama and Haunted Chattanooga. To add a little bit of monster to this Monster Madness giveaway,  I will also be including a copy of my chilling new horror novel, Circe. Circe features a monster so devious it slowly drive my protagonist insane and will make this Monster Madness that much more mad.  Finally, I will be including a lovely handmade pendant made by the brilliant labyrinth creations (http://labyrinthcreations.blogspot.com/).   This handmade piece of Halloween monster fun is utterly unique.   If you would like to win this goody bag of  treats, just comment below and leave your name and email address and follow my blog.  For extra chances to win you can go to the two links below and "like" my books.  You get one extra entry for each "like".

http://www.amazon.com/Circe-ebook/dp/B0068QDD9U/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1335719865&sr=8-4
http://www.amazon.com/Deaths-Dream-Kingdom-ebook/dp/B004YXMFYS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1335719865&sr=8-2

Here is a little bit of information about my novel, Circe, so you know what you might be winning.  

Dr. Black is a good man with a few vices. When he goes to an old institution in rural Alabama to complete his internship, he will face his darkest demons and his his worst temptations as the mysteries at the heart of the institution pull him into world of black magic and monster from his darkest nightmares.


There are lots of other blogs participating in May Monster Madness!   Travel to them to enter to win a variety of fun goodies and read a lot interesting monster blogs!

The Woman with a Lump in her Tongue

Story

[Taken from [1]:]

A woman was working in a post office. She was supposed to use a sponge to seal the envelopes but one day she didn't. She used her tongue instead. Days after , she noticed that her tongue had a strange lump in it. It got so big that she was having a hard time eating or talking. That was when she decided to see a doctor. He cut open the lump and a live roach crawled out! Turns out, there were roach eggs on the envelope flap and they hatched in her tongue!

Foreign Counterpart

Actually, this urban legend originated from U.S.A.

[Taken from [2]:]

A California woman who worked in a post office decided one day that she would lick some envelopes instead of using a moist sponge for that purpose. In the process, she accidentally cut her tongue. Later, she noticed a swelling in her tongue, but a doctor could not find anything wrong. It finally got so bad that she was having trouble eating, so she want back to the doctor. He did some tests, found a lump on her tongue, and did surgery. During the surgery, he cut open the lump and a live cockroach crawled out. It was determined that she got cockroach eggs in her tongue from the envelope that caused the cut and they incubated there. A real example of the eRumor as it has appeared on the Internet: If you lick your envelopes...You won't anymore!!!! A woman was working in a post office in California, one day she licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a sponge. That very day the lady cut her tongue on the envelope. A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling of her tongue. She went to the doctor, and they found nothing wrong. Her tongue was not sore or anything. A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell more, and it began to get really sore, so sore, that she could not eat. She went back to the hospital, and demanded something be done. The doctor, took an x-ray of her tongue, and noticed a lump. He prepared her for minor surgery. When the doctor cut her tongue open, a live roach crawled out. There were roach eggs on the seal of the envelope. The egg was able to hatch inside of her tongue, because of her saliva. It was warm and moist. This is a true story reported on CNN. Andy Hume wrote: "Hey, I used to work in an envelope factory. You wouldn't believe the..... things that float around in those gum applicator trays. I haven't licked an envelope for years."

That's the whole story of this legend.

Sources:
[1]http://spoonlagoon.blogspot.com/2008/09/pinoy-urban-legends-10.html
[2]http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/e/enveloperoaches.htm