Barbri, Day 5 (aka: OMG, I'm starting to see legal questions in everything)

Today was Barbri day 5, as indicated in my title. While I realize that many argue that the word excruciating is one that precludes degrees (much like someone can't be "very unique" or "a little bit pregnant"), I personally think that there are degrees to excruciating, like thumbtacks v. bamboo shoots under the fingernails. Or like 7 hours of Barbri review given by the same guy who sounds exactly like Lewis Black. Which I would classify as REALLY FUCKING EXCRUCIATING.

I don't mind listening. I don't mind sitting attentively. And I don't mind the lectures. What bothers me is the mind-numbing monotony of it all. But that's what I've paid for, and I'll squeeze every damn penny of of the endless monotony.

Which brings me to my next point: OMG I'M TURNING EVERYTHING INTO BAR EXAM QUESTIONS (I'm also highly considering making some of my favorite movies into examples on how to get through portions of the Bar, starting with Kill Bill and Mulan. Trust me, there are shittons of legal scenarios I can use to construct a bonafide badass outline to get me through the Bar and help me remember. And perhaps I will...). Back to my point: tonight I was reading Above the Law, as I'm apt to do, when I ran across this gem of a quote from New Jersey's (Republican/stupid/aneurysm-inducing) governor with regards to his state defying a federal law against certain types of betting:

"We intend to go forward," the Republican governor said. "If someone wants to stop us, then let them try to stop us. We want to work with the casinos and horse racing industry to get it implemented...Am I expecting there may be legal action taken against us to try to prevent it? Yes," the governor said. "But I have every confidence we're going to be successful."

What realm are we in? Obviously Constitutional Law. What is this concerning? States' powers. What is the rule? Supremacy Clause--federal laws=supreme law of the land. And who will win? Duh: the motherfucking government. Apparently I learned a new word this week: federalism.

Although I think "motherfucking federalism" has a much better ring to it. And would be awesome if repeated in a Lewis Black voice.

Barbri, Day 4 and other shit

Today I did the 3 hour, 100 question MBE practice test. I got 57 questions right. Which means I got 43 wrong. Of the six subjects:

1) Contracts kicked my ass. So did Evidence and Torts. Like, made me want to cry kicked my ass.

2) I only got three Real Property questions wrong. Which makes me question whether I took some kind of red pill and wandered into a Matrix-type rabbit hole. As opposed to Adderall, which is clearly the blue type of pill you see at law school all too often.

3) Con Law and Criminal Law weren't so bad, but I'd like to do better.

After I got my ass kicked thoroughly by Barbri today, I went home to analyze the damages. Obviously I wasn't too torn up, and I (surprisingly) wasn't too mind-fucked to pursue outlining for this next week. Obviously aliens have taken over my body.

I also went for a sprint/walk tonight. Something I officially gave up FOR LIFE. (Because, let's face it, biking is so much better and I'm a slow ass MF.) I've figured that if there's the possibility of me failing the bar and finding out ON MY BIRTHDAY, I'm at least going to look hot while reveling in my misery.

Or hot while celebrating. No matter the outcome, I plan on looking hot.

Except when I ugly cry (which is going to happen, either way). 

Barbri, Day 3

Today's Barbri preview focused on Constitutional Law and Evidence and OH MY GOD I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING AND WE'RE ALL GONNNNNNNAAAA DIIIIIIEEEEEEEE.

But for reals, it was (again) totally demoralizing, although definitely not surprising, with regard to how little I know. Completely.

Notes from today:

1) Got to see the Criminal Law teacher again...he reminds me of Steven Colbert, and makes my day better. Particularly when he uses the mnemonic device BARRRRRRK (okay, I added a few extra Rs in the there, but he is totally awesome).

2) As a side note: mnemonic is THE WORST AND HARDEST WORD IN THE ENTIRE WORLD TO SPELL.

3) Also got to see the majorly awesome Torts prof again, but he wasn't as organized for Constitutional Law and it gave me the sadz.

4) Went and printed off study tips for approaching the MBE. Panic attack is likely to ensue any moment now.

5) Constitutional Law is going to suck, and I don't care what the guy said--I'm not going to be the majority of people who get 24/33 correct because I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REMEMBER ALL THIS INFORMATION AND STUFF IT INTO MY HEAD AND MAKE IT STAY THERE. (I'm pretty sure this info leaks out of my ears at night.)

Tomorrow we are set to take a 100 question, 3 hour practice test. Lots of people aren't showing up to the school tomorrow because they can do it at home. I know better than this. I would sleep until eleven, play with shiny things, cuddle with my dogs, and then take eleventy billion hours to try to get through it. So I'm dragging my happy ass to the school tomorrow, because if I don't have the discipline to take it at home, you bet your sweet bippy that I'll have the discipline to haul my ass somewhere that ensures I do. And no, that's not sarcasm.

In other news, I think I'm going to be taking a nice weekender for Memorial Day, and may even get the chance to yell FREEEEEBIRD in a setting that's suitably appropriate. White trash nirvana? Oh hells to the yes. Am I okay with this?

FREEEEEEEEEEBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRD!!!!!!!!!

(duh)

Graduation=Bar Studies=Fail

This weekend we graduated from law school. And now we have approximately eight weeks to stuff as much motherfucking law in our heads as humanly possible.

Congratulations.

Now get back to work.

Wishing Wednesday (aka: LALAALA, I can't hear you)

Like I've said before, I normally don't participate in traditional blogger posts. Which is why instead of doing "What I'm loving Wednesday," I'm doing my very own "Wishing Wednesday." That means instead of being disgustingly optimistic, I can also throw in tons of realism and pessimism and essentially bend it to whatever I want it to be. Which I like. So here goes....I'm wishing:

1) For more rain. (The slight relief from triple digit heat records makes my days a little better.)

2) That highlights were less expensive. I can't AFFORD to look hot. Even if I wanted to. Which I do. But instead, my hair looks dank, greasy, or just plain mousy. Boo to the fabulous hairdressers holding my pocketbook for ransom! BOO!

3) That I were more inclined to get off my ass and actually do something rather than watch SVU episodes on Netflix all day long. This includes feeding myself.

4) That school was not right around the corner. I need more time. I don't know for what, since I've managed to waste the past two months I've been given, but it's kinda terrifying thinking that after this year, I will be expected--nay, DEMANDED--to be a contributing member of society. I don't like that one bit.

5) That my friends were back in town. I'm getting bored having no incentive to wash my dank hair and get off my ass watching SVU. Have I mentioned that already? Oh, that's right. I have.

This summer has been a great one, and probably one of the last I will truly have to myself until I'm nearly dead too old to enjoy it. I managed to vacay, do some other super-secretive (and identifying) stuff, help Leonidas move out of his apartment, and not kill hang out with my family. My little bro (Calvin) starts school tomorrow, people.

I guess it could always be worse.

Here's to wishing Calvin a great first day of school, and hoping for margaritas in my near future.