That Message Was Jumbled, Please Repeat

For what is likely the first and last time, I want to talk about the Shining Knight. I was watching the episode of JLU "Patriot Acts" (because Cartoon Network in the U.S. is way the hell behind the rest of the world, apparently), and something just didn't add up. Run with me here, OK?

So S.K. is criticizing Dirty Harry because in it, Clint Eastwood doesn't follow his captain's orders. S.K. says that dishonors his captain. But then he tells Eiling a story about how he didn't obey an order to destroy a whole village, because he knew it was wrong. And he tells Eiling that the idea that a soldier is supposed to follow orders no matter what is why this time is so screwed up.

So what was his problem with Dirty Harry's actions again? Harry recognized the orders he was given as being, well to be blunt, dumb. Coddling a person who enjoys killing as much as Scorpio did? Harry finds that to be a stupid order, so he ignored it. Granted, it wasn't so good to ignore rules about warrants or Miranda rights (though I did enjoy Harry stomping on the guy's injured leg), but ultimately, Harry was right.

I guess the best I can figure is they hadn't finished watching the movie yet, and maybe Shining Knight would have changed his mind farther along. I don't know, maybe I missed something. But I'm with Vigilante; Shining Knight needs to watch what he says about Mr. Clint Eastwood.

Today, On Calvin's Blog. . .

We steal stuff from X-Play! For those who don't know, X-Play is a show on G4 that reviews video games with lowbrow humor. Well, sometimes they go higher, like their "1st Annual H.P. Lovecraft Spelling Bee", but mostly, fart jokes. Which is fine, it's video games, not 19th Century English literature (thank goodness). It's beloved by all my friends, except Tevion, who won't watch it because he's in love with Morgan Webb. He fears he'll get drunk and depressed during the show and decide to drive to California and abduct Morgan. I don't know what he's worried about. When he's drunk, he can't master the simple concept of sitting in a chair, so making it to his car, starting it, and driving over 1,000 miles? Forget it.

One of their single best creations, is Roger, The Stan Lee Experience! He's the fifth best thing to actually getting Stan Lee to make commentary while reviewing The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction! He imparts upon us great stories from the old days like:

'Kirby (pronounced Koiby) walks into my office and pitches the idea for the Fantastic Four. I said "That's the dumbest idea I ever heard! Get the fuck out of my office!" Not five seconds later, I copyright the idea and the money rolls in like gangbusters. Kirby never got a cent. What a dumbass.'

It's funny because it's probably distrubingly close to the truth. So now, because I'm lazy, I present my five favorite Rogerisms:

'So I call Kirby into my office to pitch the idea for Galactus. I say "He's a big purple guy, who has to eat planets to sustain life, kind of like how I fucked your wife." The analogy didn't hold up, but Kirby, he got the message.'

'So I'm fucking Kirby's wife, when he walks into the office, and we just freeze, and we're all standing there looking at each other, and that was how we came up with the idea for The Moleman."

'So I call Ditko into my office to talk about how he's drawing Mary Jane. I tell him "Draw her more like this", and show him a naked picture of his wife sitting on my lap. He says, "Stan, that's my wife!" I say, "Yeah, your kid took the picture." He drew the best Mary Jane.'

'Excelsior! That means "DC's for douchebags".' (Note: from 1988 through 2000, I whole-heartedly agreed with that sentiment, even if I'd never heard the word 'douchebag'. Depending on how Batgirl ends, I may adopt that philosophy again)

And finally. . .

'We used to prank call Bob Kane. We'd say we was the real Batman, and we was gonna kill him for stealing our idea. Then we'd throw a rock through his window.'

I told you it was mostly lowbrow. Something more substantive tomorrow, I hope.

Gender Dynamics in Fictional medium

Wow, that title sound kinda dissertationist doesn't it? Well, it's really just an example of why I shouldn't read other people's blogs before I post. See, I was all set to do a "fix New Avengers" day, which you, the kind readers would hopefully help with. Then I check out Pretty, Fuzzy Paradise and Kalinara did a post that struck a chord. She noted that if you reverse the genders of the characters in the Kyle Rayner/Jade relationship, it starts to look kind of disturbing, with "Johnny" looking like the typical abusive boyfriend. You should really read it yourself. But it brings up something that has been bothering me for a few years.

See, I'm a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel. Not those two characters mind you, I can't stand Buffy or Angel (Go Faith! Go Spike! Whoo!), but I like the shows. Which was part of what made the sixth season of Buffy so rough. Her friends bring her back from the dead, pulling her out of Heaven in the process, but leave her in her coffin, so she has to claw her way out. Understandably, Buffy's traumatized, she avoids her friends, and hangs out with Spike, and he tries to help, because he loves her, and honestly she likes him too. She just can't admit it, because he's "an evil thing". So instead she uses him sexually. The morning after their first time, Buffy tells Spike that if he tells anyone, she'll kill him. What? If a male character said that to a female character (like Angel talking to Cordellia, for example), there would be outrage. But when a women, who is the hero, and supposedly 'good', says it to the 'evil' vampire it's no big deal.

And it continues, with Buffy denying Spike actually cares for her, denying that he is actually trying to be good, when she isn't just beating the crap out of him or sexually assaulting him. There is a point where Buffy tries to initiate sexual relations and Spike says "No". Go Spike! Buffy ignores him, and the writers play goofy, silly music to make it like it's no big deal. Wait a minute, I thought that no meant no? To be fair, Spike deserves some blame for not doing the smart thing and breaking it off with Buffy, but he loves her, so like most people in abusive relationships, he wants to help her be the person he remembers. Ultimately, Spike snaps, and assaults Buffy in her bathroom. This time the writers play the assault as a serious thing, Spike's being bad, folks. See he's evil, Buffy's the victim. The double standard is jarring to say the least.

Sorry about that fanboy rage, but it's been a sensitive subject with me, especially when Season 7 seemed to be one character reminding Spike he assaulted Buffy after another, but Buffy never gets called on what she did to him. She skates away, the same way Willow skated for killing two {Edit, January 4, 2008: make that killing one, flaying another} people, even though what she did was easily as bad as what Faith did, and Faith was sitting in prison for most of that season.

Anyway, there's an essay that explains the whole thing much better than I did. http://www.allaboutspike.com/kristen.html