Bad timekeeping can get you fired in the big leagues....WHY NOT IN LAW SCHOOL?

Let me preface this with saying that I have NEVER EVER EVER left a law exam crying. I wouldn't have today either....except for something that I consider so fundamentally unfair and stupid, I couldn't help but be upset and pissed at my own helplessness. Let me also preface this with saying I didn't let anyone see me cry....because that's lame and not conducive to my awesome rep.

With that said.....let me explain the circumstances. I was taking a 50 question multiple choice law school final today. I stayed up a good portion of the night studying for this, and I felt reasonably prepared for the material. I'm not going to say I'm a pro at the information, but I certainly am not retarded in this particular area of the law (and by God, I can qualify just about anything to suit my purposes). I went through the exam marking the ones I knew, the ones I was confused about, and the ones where I might as well have just marked "C" for because I had no fucking idea.

Our administrator, whom I will now call "Beverly" (Bev for short), sat at the front of the room. Our clock...in a chair (presumably where everyone could see it). I like to see the clock. I don't own a watch and we cannot consult our cell phones (or at least, I don't because of the appearance of impropriety and the possible narcs in our class because, oh yeah, our classmates most assuredly sucks balls). So I'm going through my exam...

Two hours left.

One hour left.

30 minutes left.

15 minutes left. ::Bev picks up the clock and puts it in her lap::

WAIT....WHAT?

I now cannot see the clock. I have no idea how much time I have left. I do not have a watch with which to check time because they provide you with a clock FOR A REASON. Surely she will count us down right?

Bev calls ten minutes.

Bev calls five minutes.

(Working feverishly at this point....a few more to go, and I can guess on the remainders, right?)

WRONG: TIME.

No fucking minute warning. No 30 second warning. Jack diddly shit.

I didn't mind the content. I did, however, mind the fact that I didn't complete FOUR of the answers because I was unaware I had approximately five.seconds.left. Four...out of 50. Which is almost 10% of the exam's overall score. Which I had approximately a 50% chance of getting right (I had narrowed each down to two possible answers).

This translates into FOUR points off my entire grade. Because this lady decided to put the fucking clock in her lap. If you are going to completely deny me the opportunity to know how much time is left, please count down at least the minute mark. Fuck you, Bev. The worst part is I'm sure beyond a reasonable doubt that my reporting this would have no impact on the outcome of my final, testing procedures for the future, or allow me to fill in those fucking blanks.

So yeah....my day=complete fail. Another test tomorrow.

Which means I can't even drown my sorrows in a barrel of tequila.

Maybe I can just drown myself in the barrel instead.

I'm a bad influence

A friend of mine who I've keyed into my super secret identity has decided to spend some of his valuable time procrastinating, and just upgraded my banner at the top of the page. Apparently, his pen is way cooler than mine (and I have to admit his lines are cleaner). To add insult to injury, he used a free program. So, Mr. Z (as I shall call him): thank you.

As an aside to break up the whole studying thing, apparently technology has gone one more step to show its undying hatred for me: the hard drive recommended to me by the technology guys at my school is for DESKTOPS. Mr. Technology Guy, you are hereby demoted to my shit list. Not only am I out $45, but I'm also forced to look at a hard drive that is thicker than the WHOLE of my computer (because I can't just throw away the hard drive). (And I'm not the idiot here--I still have the print off showing the EXACT same hard drive I'm currently staring at.)

It's time for a run for supplies. I'm running low on the necessaries (no, not the "law school" necessaries of booze and cigarettes--the "gamer-friendly" necessaries of cheetos, gatoraid, and "5 hour energy").

So for the time being, may the force be with ME, and may you have more success at life than I currently am....

Death's Dream Kingdom Free Kindle Give Away Contest!

I have been trapped in a disaster area since last Wednesday when the first tornado sirens went off.  Since that time,  I have been stuck in the dark and  lost away from computers and modern conveniences.   I got my power back last night and that is cause to celebrate and when my computer came back on I realized that my novel, Death's Dream Kingdom has been released.  This gives me double cause to celebrate!

To celebrate Death's Dream Kingdom,  I am going to give away a kindle.  Death's Dream Kingdom  has been released first on kindle and won't be out in other formats until November, so it is time for me to celebrate the kindle by giving them away.  If you are like me and always wanted a kindle but don't want to pay for one, now is your chance to get one.  The rules to this contest are simple.

Rules:

1. Tweet, facebook, blog, and tell your friends about this contest.
2. Comment below telling how many times and where you posted, talked about, and linked to the contest
     ex. I tweeted 4 times, told 2 friends, and posted the contest on facebook
3. The person who does the most to spread the word about this contest will win a free kindle.
4. In the event of a tie, I will give a way 2 kindles
5. In the event of a three way or greater tie, I will draw names.
6. Winners will be announced on May 23, 2011.

So spread the word and you will get a free kindle this month!  Help me celebrate having a new book out and having the amazing power of electricity!  If you are interested in buying Death's Dream Kingdom and helping me celebrate, you can click on the link below.  Also,  I give extra points to people who buy the book :).

Buy Death's Dream Kingdom Now!

New Format....a HUGE form of procrastination

I just updated my blog, so enjoy. This was a lot harder than I anticipated, as I created my banner by myself (and methodically eliminated the backgrounds on each individual piece you see placed on it).

I have no more energy/time to write a blog today. I must study. (And freak out.)

But mostly study....

(I think)

Forget LSF's....I CAN'T SEE!

That may be a bit of an overstatement. I've always had a really difficult time with the whole seeing thing. This was blatantly obvious to me tonight, as I couldn't see the road in front of me. DAMN YOU, lacking night vision! Although I'm (thankfully) not legally blind, when I'm not wearing corrective lenses, my vision is generally about 20/800. Just for those of you that don't know, there is a big E at the top of the vision chart. For those of you who didn't know that, you most certainly will not know that there is a HUGE A above that.

Folks, I can't even see the A. 

Now, how does one become so utterly lacking in vision? When I was younger, I used to read voraciously. I would read at the dinner table. I would read during class, hiding the book under my desk. I would read in the dark with a flashlight. Notice how that last sentence is underlined? Yeah....I think that's why I can no longer see. My mother likes to tell the story of the first time she noticed I couldn't see, which was when I was in third grade. At the time, I had a (moronic) teacher who, TO THIS DAY, I remember could not differentiate between the pronunciation of "broad" and "board." (I am still pissed about her marking my spelling wrong when I TOTALLY spelled the word she announced to the class, but I digress...) Every day, my mom would drop me off at school then head back home, but this day, I forgot my lunch and she had to come in to drop it off to me.

::CUE SCENE::

My mom arrives at the classroom, where I am literally a foot away from the board writing down our "DOL" (Daily Oral Language or something stupid like that) problem.
My mother, to the teacher: "Why is Erica so close to the board?"
The moronic teacher: "Oh, she does that every day. She says she can't see the board."
My mother: "And you didn't think to tell me?"
The moronic teacher: vacant smile

Later that day

Mom: "Why were up at the board this morning?"
Me: "Because I couldn't see the board."
Mom: "What else can't you see?"
Me: "I dunno...if I can't see it, how do I know it's there?"
Mom: (backing up) "How many fingers am I holding up?"
Me: (squinting really hard) "Two?"
Mom: "I'm calling the eye doctor."

::END SCENE(s):: 

As an aside: I was an overachiever even back in grade school. When the school administered the hearing and vision tests, I literally thought I was being graded on them. So when I misidentified the panda bear as the birthday cake (how ISN'T that a dead giveaway, people?!?!?!), I totally played it off, like "Oh yeah, that's what I meant." And somehow, they believed me.

Just recently, my dad told me "the rest of the story," as Paul Harvey (may he rest in peace) would say. We were talking about my pitiful vision skills and he said, "I still remember the day you got your glasses." Your mom took you to the eye doctor, and when they gave them to you, you told her "Wow....I can see!!!!" Your mom told me "_______, I felt about two inches small." That still makes me laugh, because she needn't have. I literally didn't know what I was missing...because I just couldn't see it.

To this day, my mom tells me I owe her my sight. She fed me so many carrots and sweet potatoes when I was a baby, the palms of my hands and the bottoms of my feet turned orange. She swears without this extra beta-keratin, I would have been doomed to spend the rest of my life with a stick and a dog. My mom...the optimist.

Bacon v. BO

I am no goody-two-shoes by any means. I enjoy a cold frosty (as my Con Law teacher likes to call it) as much as the next girl, and I have a couple of speeding tickets to my name (one of which is unpaid at this moment in time--EEK). I even think marijuana should be legalized!

That being said, let me emphasize something....MARIJUANA IS NOT LEGALIZED AT THIS TIME. This means that it is ILLEGAL. And especially because of this fact, I do not approve of its use. I do not want to see evidence of your illegal activities. I do not want to see you commit said illegal activity in front of me. And I will not stifle my reaction to something that is illegal if it is performed in my presence.

I'm a firm believer in the phrase "to each his own." Even with my support of marijuana's future use, I still don't want to have to smell it, be subjected to the negative impact it may have on your driving, or have to listen to your ridiculous rantings or food cravings while you are as high as a kite--and this goes whether it is legal or not. Personally, the smell of pot makes me want to hurl. I literally dread the first few moments on the bus because I'm unsure whether I will be swamped with the hideously disgusting aroma of "eau de MJ." I realize this is a personal reaction--I'm not sure why it's such a repulsive smell to me, but I'm not lying when I tell you it literally makes me throw up in the back of my mouth.

You are entirely entitled to your own beliefs regarding marijuana. But please don't kid yourself when you're saying you're doing it because you shouldn't be punished for it and that the government is being unreasonable...this makes it no less illegal and no less punishable under color of the law.

And even though you're convinced marijuana smells just like bacon does not mean it does not smell like overwhelming BO to me.

This Is Me

Jarmara Falconer at A Mission Impossible for the Dark Fantasy Nightwriter has kindly passed on the Versatile Blogger award to me. It requires me to tell you seven things about myself. However, as I did this a while ago for the Sweet Friends award I thought I'd tell you about my dad instead. Then you might get an insight into what makes me tick.

1. Yesterday was the 22nd anniversary of his death. He had just turned 66 which means that in a few years time I will be older than my father. That will be weird.

2. He stares back at me from a photo frame which sits just below my computer screen. People say I look like him. I take this as a compliment because he wasn't bad looking but I've never been able to see it myself.

3. He originally came from Norfolk and still retained some accent even after living in Tamworth, Staffs for forty years. If he ever got mad with us my brother and I would put on fake accents and mock him mercilessly. He never stayed mad for long.

4. On the last day of school term the teacher asked each child in his class if they could rub their stomach in a circular motion with one hand while patting their head with the other. (Try it – it's not that easy). My dad was the only one that could do it and for some reason this marvellous feat was rewarded with him being allowed out of school an hour early. Halfway across the deserted playground he passed the school bell and couldn't resist ringing it loud and clear. He was punished, of course, on his first day back.

5. When war broke out he volunteered for the navy but was turned down because he worked on the land which was a reserved occupation. When he finally did get called up they put him in the infantry despite having a dodgy leg. As a boy he had developed an infection and had to have his tibia removed. The army has never been renowned for its common sense.

6. He once received a certificate from Tamworth police for helping to apprehend a chap trying to nick stuff from Woolworth's one evening. Our house overlooked their back yard and dad had seen him climb over the wall. He had run off by the time a copper came so they drove round Tamworth in my dad's Ford Anglia till they spotted him. I think the guy pulled a knife at one stage. Exciting stuff.

7. The only piece of advice I can remember him giving me is 'Never mind your arse, mind your head, boy'. I don't know if this is an old Norfolk expression but I think it's a quaint way of saying 'Get your priorities right'.

So there it is. That's where I get my rustic sense of humour, my cynicism and my laid-back attitude. Thanks, dad.
I think all of the blogs I follow have recieved this award or something similar recently so I'll be passing this on when I've found some new ones.