The Story of Crackers

My dog is my best friend. She snores to remind me I'm not in the house alone. She growls when someone she doesn't trust comes near me. And she inexplicably hates sorority girls, particularly in large groups. We're almost the same person.

My boyfriend found Crackers on the side of the road one night while cruising at high speeds during a "break" from work (aka: he excused himself from work and decided to go for a joy ride). She ran out in front of his car not once, but TWICE. And then he put her in his sports car (his baby, honestly), where she promptly pissed in the seat....because she, like me, probably had no idea what to do in a car with leather seats. (And of course the logical thing is pissing in it, am I right?!?)

I'll still remember when he woke me up at three in the morning, standing in the doorway of my room, with a dog in his arms. He looked helpless. The dog looked pitiful. And I thought I was hallucinating. I'm pretty sure I said something like "You've GOT to be kidding me." And the rest of the night, we slept on the couch with the dog beside us, stirring at every noise because I was afraid she was going to give my carpet the sports car "treatment."

We found her a home with one of Leonidas' friends, and I should have known better, because he (and I quote) "expected him {his DOG} to train the new addition" to their family. I got Crackers back after three weeks, because they couldn't handle her.

In that time, they did nothing to help the few things already wrong with her, and added a few new problems to the mix. She had a rub mark two inches wide on her neck from when we found her--left untreated, of course. She had a fly lay eggs in her nose, which got infected while in their care. She picked up worms in their backyard (ew, ew, EWWWWWW). They had done nothing about her "heat spots" (aka: bald patches), and had not taken her to a vet for her vaccinations or to be spayed. Then they gave her back to us, because she pooped in their floor. Keep in mind, she was a six month old puppy who hadn't received any training from them because they were stupid enough to think their fucking DOG would do it. They left her outside most the time. At night, they locked her in a cage in the garage (while their other dog slept in their bed).

So poor Crackers returned to me. And for the first few months, it was difficult. House and kennel training a dog are never easy. She sheds more than a dog EVER should. As I said before, she snores....loudly at times. She wakes me up at seven o'clock every morning whining because she's hungry and has to be fed immediately. Last night, she woke me up at two because she was hungry then and I hallucinated it to be seven o'clock. She's about five pounds overweight, even though we go on two mile runs all the time. Once, she jumped out of the car window....while it was moving.

But she also curls into a little ball at the back of my knees while I sleep. And she cuddles with me when I'm sick. And keeps my feet warm in the winter. She listens when I'm bitching, and doesn't judge me. She eats bugs. She keeps my kitchen floor clean.

And she lets me hold her like a baby when I feel like crap. All fifty pounds of her.

All things considered, she's pretty awesome.

And I'm pretty lucky.