Selasa, 24 Mei 2011

Happiness and the law...this is possible!

Lawyers are inherently miserable creatures. They bitch and moan about their jobs, their student loans, their clients, and anything else related to work that comes up. A statistic floating around is that lawyers have one of the highest suicide rates among professions, although I was unable to substantiate this rumor. However, I was able to find statistics that show lawyers are 3.6 more likely to be depressed than others. In fact, when I googled "depression by profession" (forgive the rhyme), the top ten searches all pertained to the legal profession. This is an epidemic, and one I think is easily fixed. This is not to say I do not think that depression is a serious mental condition. However, with medicine, changes in lifestyle, and a focus on things that makes a person happy, even lawyers are capable of being happy, well-adjusted, non-depressed people too!

I have had times in my life when I was not happy. I have had times when my life seemed incredibly bleak. Every winter, the dark cold weather makes me want to hibernate. A lot of this depression arose during my time in law school--law students do not necessarily make the best of friends, particularly my cut-throat class. After a while, though, I learned a lot that helped me change my perspective and return to my normal, happy-go-lucky personality. They are as follows:

1) Branch out--when I was surrounded by law students all the time, I was miserable. I spoke about the law all the time. Even when we were discussing other things, law managed to sneak into our conversations. I met some people outside of law school, started balancing my time with both law and non-law people, and was able to finally get that "break" I needed.

2) Take some alone time--I think people all think they need to be surrounded by people at all times, but people should learn how to cope with being by themselves, because we can't always have people around. If you can't stand your own company, why should anyone else? I'm not saying we should isolate ourselves from people intentionally, but there is nothing wrong with having an hour by yourself to think, reflect, and enjoy your own company.

3) Work out--you don't have to be kickboxing to get awesome results. I know fitting in my clothes makes me happier, and any time I'm stressed, heading to the gym helps me cope with this. It's also a great way to meet other people, an amazing feeling to reach personal goals, and gives you a sense of accomplishment in keeping yourself fit and feeling strong. If you can't respect yourself enough to keep yourself healthy and in good physical shape, you're unlikely to have as much confidence as you could have. The endorphins triggered by working out also work like an anti-depressant, which aid in kicking depression's ass.

4) Stop boozing every day--alcoholism is also rampant in the legal profession. Did you know it's a DEPRESSANT? That's why you get sleepy when you booze it up. That's also why you sometimes see those idiot girls sitting on a curb bawling their eyes out while slurring into a phone how much they miss their ex-boyfriends. If you must drink, choose a day a week. Do not drink every day. Do not drink until you black out. Do not make excuses for your drinking every day. Go to a treatment program if you are drinking every day.

5) Start volunteering--as a lawyer, you're recommended to complete 50 hours of pro bono service per year. This translates to ONE HOUR PER WEEK, folks. This is negligible. You have a degree in a field that can literally change someone's life. Use it. If you can't see yourself helping others with your law degree, volunteer as a Big Brother/Sister, head on over to your soup kitchen, write a check to a worthy cause, or just  man a hotline a couple of hours per week. It makes you realize your life isn't that sucky and that others really do have it harder than you. Really. You bitch about sucky clients--there are people that don't have a house. That's not to belittle your problems, but it does help put things into perspective.

6) Listen more--no matter your profession, if you are listening to others and talking less, you will probably be happier. Ask your friends how they are, and mean it. Talk to your mom on the phone and actually listen to her. When your clients express concerns, try to show an interest.

7) Smile--no seriously, smiling has been shown to trigger the release of endorphins. Sometimes, it's also just nice to smile at someone and have them smile back at you.

8) Do something nice for yourself--I see this a lot with women. They focus so much on others around them or on negative thoughts that they never do anything for themselves. If this means cooking your favorite meal, getting a manicure, or treating yourself to a haircut, DO IT.

9) Let things go--it's really easy to focus on your negative feelings or prior transgressions of others. Stop worrying about them--as Van Wilder said, it's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but you get NOWHERE. Seriously, just let them go. Move on. Stop giving other people power over you. It makes your life a lot easier to not have to keep track of who you are pissed off at, and those negative feelings really screw up your psyche.

10) Seek counseling--if you cannot shake your feelings of sadness or depression, do not be embarrassed to seek help. Having someone to talk to about these feelings helps a lot, and they may be able to prescribe you something that helps normalize the chemicals in your brain and get you feeling more like yourself, sans the cobwebs.

I realize I'm not certified in mental counseling. However, these have all been shown to help, and when I implemented them in my life, I felt significantly better. The ladies in my office are incredible, and you'd never know they're lawyers. They are happy with what they are doing, go home to their families and time with those they love, and LOVE their jobs. I'm going to leave with the last item on this list, which I think is the most important:

11) Pick a branch of the law you LOVE: time and time again, I hear of people that are pursuing something they hate because it pays well. Ultimately, you're going to be unsatisfied, and feel trapped, because you're used to that type of living. And you're going to be scared to be poor. Poor does not equate to unhappiness. Wealth certainly makes life easier, but it definitely doesn't make it more worth living. Keep this in mind, and choose carefully. Don't be afraid to start over. Don't be afraid to pursue something that's not traditional. Don't be afraid of other people's opinions. Be BRAVE. Be HAPPY. Live with purpose.

And live your life your way. You only get one chance.

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