Summer vacay on the cheap

Leonidas and I have been weighing our options regarding summer vacay. He's a notorious spender, while I'm a total cheapskate spendthrift. This would seem to be a good thing, as I would presumably put him on the "straight and narrow," and influence him positively to spend his money wisely. This isn't the case though, because Leonidas equates a deal to a cheap alternative to something better something too good to be true. At any rate, we've decided to go somewhere hot and fun and QUICKLY, because we only know his schedule a few days in advance. We've opted for Florida, and we're thinking Orlando. This means beach access, as well as some time at Disney and Universal Studios. It also means a few cocktails, some good food, and some cheesy souvenirs for Maxine, Danny, Cyd, and Calvin.

I'm envisioning our days starting something like this:

Followed by some of this:

And a lot of these:

And ending like this:

 

In short, I'm anticipating paradise. And between my parent's timeshare points, Allegient Airlines cheap fare, and the fantabulous company of the ever-entertaining Leonidas, it's sure to not disappoint!


Any suggestions from my fellow cheapskates spendthrifts on good deals down in Florida? (Too bad, Leonidas....my cheapness reigns supreme.)

Best Competition

Thanks to Patsy Collins again for posting a link to another fun competition. Here you can win a Best Western weekend break with just 300 words. If you go on their blog you can read some of the submissions including my own entitled 'Unwelcome Guest'. You only have until Monday but it's only a few words so - what are you waiting for?

"To SPEND or NOT to SPEND..." That is the question!!!

"Ms. Jackson, I work in sales and I just found out that I will be getting a $19,000 bonus for the last sales quarter!  I feel so blessed!  I don't really have that much debt to pay off BUT I have wanted to build a backyard deck.  About a year ago I got estimates for when I was ready and able to have it built.  The lowest bid was around $10,000.  I also wanted a surround sound system since I do a great deal of entertaining at my home.  I know during this economy I should save my money but I feel that I deserve to do something special for myself since I busted my butt last quarter.  What do you suggest?  Should I use my bonus to get what I want or should I bite the bullet and save it?  -  Ready to Spend, Union City, GA"

Dear "Ready to Spend,"

CONGRATULATIONS on your healthy bonus!  You are truly blessed and are obviously great at what you do.  It is also great that your debt is not so overwhelming that you have to use your bonus to pay it down or in full.

I will NOT tell you NOT to spend you money!  If  you are a spender and I tell you that you can't spend, you will feel deprived and may rebel and possibly spend more than you want or spend it all.  For example, I don't do Diets.  When I hear DIET, I hear DIE...deprivation.  When I feel deprived (and can't have a Big Mac), I rebel.  So instead of having a Big Mac once a month, I may have one once a week just so I won't feel deprived.  Same thing with money with Spenders!

I WILL tell you to apply your Spending Plan allocations to your bonus.  At the very least, take 5% of the bonus for your play money and get what you want and put the 95% of the bonus in a high yielding interest bearing savings or CD.

OR, if you are really inclined to build that desired backyard deck, put the bonus in a high yielding interest bearing account and use the money as collateral for a Secured Loan.  This will provide you the following benefits:

• No or Low Risk loan from a financial institution (easy or guaranteed approval & should you default on the loan, the financial institution can just take the money in the savings to pay it off ... you were going to pay cash anyway.  Just kidding.  DON'T DEFAULT!!!)
• You may get a below market interest rate (for example, 3.00% above the savings/cd rate ... 3.00% + 0.50% = 3.50% interest rate.  Shop around.  Credit Unions have competitive Share/Savings Secured Loan Rates)
• You'll have a positive trade reporting on your credit report to assist in improving your credit score
• When the loan is paid in full, you still have your money with interest

Although your funds may be held up during the duration of the loan, at the end of the day, you will still have YOUR MONEY!!!

Which ever option you choose, be wise about your decision and DO NOT spend all of your cash!  Cash is leverage, especially when your credit may be "colorful" and your "credit score" may not be as SEXY as you would like it to be.

My book, Financial Fornication, discusses "Spending Plan Allocation" to help ensure all areas of your expenses have the appropriate allocation of your net income.

Again, congratulations and enjoy your new deck or new sound system and growing savings account!!!

Get my book, Financial Fornication, for more helpful hints or contact me for further assistance at http://www.tarrajackson.com/.

Tarra Jackson
Financial Relationship Specialist
Author of Financial Fornication: Avoid Financial & Credit Dis-Ease
http://www.financialfornication.com/
Tarra@TarraJackson.com

* Do you have Financial Relationship questions? Submit your questions to Tarra Jackson for "Real Life Real Talk" answers to www.TarraJackson.com.

Haunted Chattanooga

I'm going to have to quit my day job soon or go crazy trying to juggle everything.  So here is the cover for my next book.  I had help with this one from Amy Petulla of Chattanooga Ghost tours.  She's absolutely brilliant and if you are ever in Chattanooga I would definitely take her tour.  Haunted Chattanooga will have some wonderful stories in it including:  the haunted Chattanooga Choo Choo, Old Green Eyes from Chickamagua,  A Quarry Ghost or Two, and the Ghosts of Lookout Mountain. 

Ridiculousness of the day

While perusing the news, I happened upon a few ridiculous headlines that I thought I would share with you:

Apparently, a fight brought out because of LINE CUTTERS at the Casey Anthony trial. Let me begin by saying how sick I think it is that people are treating a seat in the Casey Anthony trial as a fucking golden ticket you'd receive to Willy Wonka's mythical chocolate factory. As interested as I am in the trial, I don't treat a murder trial of a 2-year old as a circus sideshow. Perhaps that's just my own personal integrity and where my sense of morality has drawn a bright line in the sand, so to speak. No one was hurt, though. Too bad.

Anthony Weiner has received an offer from Larry Flynt of Hustler. I've not looked into the famous pictures that sparked Weinergate, and I'm pretty sure a full spread of Weiner's weiner would NOT sell. Especially considering THIS is what comes to mind when thinking of Mr. Weiner:

Apparently, Mr. Flynt has anticipated this, and wants to offer him some other kind of job. Flynt has reportedly written to Weiner, "I feel that your unfortunate resignation is a prime example of unfounded political pressure and the hypocrisy that has invaded democracy in Washington, D.C. I hope you will sincerely consider this offer, and I look forward to your response." While his resignation may have been because of political pressure, a lot of people are forgetting how Anthony Weiner smeared a blogger's reputation and accused him of hacking his twitter account (both serious allegations, especially coming from an elected official). He slandered someone. And for that, Mr. Weiner should pay. (That being said, I feel terrible for his pregnant wife. And his unborn child. Mostly for the scandal. Partly because of how unfortunate looking the unborn child will probably be.)

The Associated Press lists this as the leading line for a man recently convicted of murdering a 2 year old child: "An Oregon man has been sentenced to life in prison for killing his girlfriend's 2-year-old daughter in a brutal wrestling match."

LAST TIME I CHECKED, A TWO YEAR OLD V. A 230 POUND MAN WAS NOT A "MATCH." Also last time I checked, a 230 pound man who lacerated a child's liver, collapsed her lungs, and caused severe internal bleeding was not "wrestling" with the child. He was BEATING HER TO DEATH. Yes, he may have been using "ultimate wrestling moves," but he WAS.NOT.WRESTLING. He was beating her to death. May Kacy now have peace.

Thank God it's Friday.

Exam Time

Patsy Collins has posted a link for a competition asking for true stories about odd things happening in exams. As an exam invigilator this should be tailor made for me but I can't really recall anything that merits a 300 word story. I have a few observations about the experience but I don't think they fit the brief of the competition so I'll just share them with you here:

It never ceases to amaze me how many kids insist on bringing phones and iPods into the room (which they have to leave at the front) but don't think to bring pens or rulers etc.

I'm astounded that they are sitting A levels in stuff like physics and computing but if you ask them whether they are sitting in rows A to L or rows M to X they haven't a clue which side row F is in.

Geography students have trouble finding their way to their desks (or even getting to the correct room).

Maths students can't work out the finishing time for an exam which starts at one fifteen and lasts an hour and three quarters.

They have to bring a photo ID card and place in on their desk so that we can go round and inspect them after the exam has started. But since the photo was taken they've probably changed their hairstyle or hair colour, lost weight or had piercings so it's difficult to be one hundred percent sure. Even with the boys.

I wish young girls would stop asking me if I can lend them a rubber. I always make sure to call it an eraser when I ask for it back.

Are Snakes a Sign of a Haunting?

A reader sent me an interesting story a few days ago.  He is a writer and has been following the story of a house close to where he lives with great interest.  He wasn't entirely sure to make of events, but thought a haunting might be involved.  Apparently,  the house he has been following was the site of a double homicide a few years back.   A father shot his son and then himself.  Since that time the house has become infested with snakes.   New residents in the house have left the house, unable to live with the resident snakes.   The writer was wondering if I knew of any connection between ghosts, evil, and snakes.

Of course, Christianity has always linked snakes to evil and they are a sure sign Satan is near.  Ever since the serpent tempted Eve in the garden of Eden, snakes have been a symbol of evil in Christianity.  Infestations of many kinds are often indicative of supernatural activity and plagues of frogs and flies have been seen at haunted locations on prior occasions.  I am not entirely convinced snakes in and of themselves are a sign of the supernatural, however.

I found an interesting story in the newspaper this morning that was very similar to this writer's story.  A house was sold to a young family and they discovered it to be infested with garter snakes.  The family described the house as like "living in a horror movie" and like "Satan's lair."  They describe living in terror and having PTSD after living in the house.  They tried sueing the real estate agency that sold them the house since it was apparently well known that the house had a snake problem but it was not disclosed to them.  The prior owners didn't mind as much.  The law suit failed, but the cause of the snake infestation was well documtented by biologists.  Although the residents thought the house was evil, in truth it was built on the site of a hibernaculum.  This is a place where snakes gather in large numbers to hibernate during the winter.  In the spring and summer, the snakes travel and hunt, in the winter they gather in the same place for heat and spring breeding.  The house was built on a know hibernaculum and the snakes weren't going to change their lives for a few people.

So, could the snake infestation of the house with the double homicide be haunted?  I believe it is possible, but in the absence of other, more definitive evidence of a haunting,  it seems more probable that biology and not ghosts are haunting this house to me, although I love it when people disagree with me.

Attorney for Hak Wah Lau

From: Hak Wah Lau Executive Chairman, CEO
Subject: Legal Assistance
Date: June 15, 2011 11:39:13 PM PDT
To: undisclosed recipients: ;
Reply-To: hakwahlauminwa@gmail.com

Attorney,
we have previously sent an email to you, requesting legal representation for our
delinquent customers in the U.S.A and still no response from your Law firm.
Please confirm the receipt of this mail and advise us, if your Law firm is in the
position to represent us or not in the in U.S.A; to recover money owed to us by our
delinquent customers. So we can provide you with exact details of the legal
representation that we require.

Regards,
Hak Wah Lau
Executive Chairman, CEO
Minwa Electronics Co. Ltd.
22/F., Far East Finance Center,
16 Harcourt Road, Admiralty, Hong Kong
Tel (852) 2557 3245
Fax (852) 2897 2085
Web:www.minwa.com

Lawyer for "client in your locality"

From: Mr Daniel Paulson
Subject: Dear counsel
Date: June 15, 2011 9:18:16 AM PDT
Reply-To: ukrmj@9.cn

Dear counsel

I am contacting you in regards to a breach of business loan agreement with a
client in your locality. I provided a loan to the company so that they can meet
up with their management and operational obligation during the rough economic
climate two year ago. I provided the company with an emergency loan of $550,000
with a term of 12 months and fixed interest rate of 8.5%. The repayment period
has since elapsed but the company has been unable to finalize the repayment of
the loan and have only paid $120.500.00 till date. Let me know if this falls
under the scope of your practice so that I can provide you with more information
on this matter.

Best Regards

Mr Daniel Paulson
mr.danielpaulson@9.cn

My Address is necessary.
702 Forest Park Rd
Great Falls, VA 22066-2908

Words of the Wise (aka: not me)

I'm not much of an insightful person....there, I said it. I don't really get into religious tizzies, and I particularly hate those that go on and one about being "one" with nature, God, their hobbies....etc. It always seems either (a) fake, (b) overdone, or (c) like they are trying to mask their inner misery by making everyone else feel out of touch with Zen. I do, however, love a good quote...particularly when it's funny and inspiring. So, ladies and gentlemen, here are some good quotes to light up your morning:

1) I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they are going to feel all day. (Frank Sinatra)

2) I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way. (Carl Sandburg)

3) Be curteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. (George Washington)

4) A good lawyer is a bad Christian. (John Lothrop Motley)

5) Creationists make it sound like a "theory" is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night. (Isaac Asimov)

6) Question with boldness even the existence of a God; becaue, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear. (Thomas Jefferson)

7) A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. (Mignon McLaughlin)

8) Beauty for some provides escape, who gain a happiness in eyeing the gorgeous buttocks of the ape or Autumn susets exquisitely dying. (Langston Hughes)

9) Think big thoughts, but relish small pleasures. (H. Jackson Brown, Jr.)

10) People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds...it is something one creates. (Thomas Szasz)

I hope y'all have a great day. I, on the other hand, will not profess to find myself or preach from a mountaintop....there are far too many superior quotes out there for that.

The Kingdom: The Danish Miniseries From the Twilight Zone

The Kingdom is a Danish mini-series that aired about seven years ago.   The show begins with a rather poetic introduction about a marshland riddled with the dead. Time has passed and a hospital as been built on the marshland.  It has become the epiphany of all things scientific and is filled with the most respected scientific minds in the field.  Maybe it is because of their hubris, or maybe because of their utter lack of faith in he spiritual, but the gateway between this world and the kingdom has begun to open again beneath the hospital that is most appropriately named,  The Kingdom.

This strange miniseries begins slowly introducing all the doctors and characters.   One o the characters is a ghost hunter who fakes new illnesses on a regular basis to be admitted to the hospital and chase the hospital's mysterious ghosts deeper and deeper into the dark core of the the kingdom.  The show features child ghosts, dog ghosts, phantom ambulances, zombies, evil neurosurgeons, and ghostly pregnancies.

Although The Kingdom is not a movie,  it is listed on 1001 Movies You Need to See Before You Die.  Steven King saw it and produced an American version called Kingdom Hospital that was set in Main.   This bizarre Danish film is a must see for anyone who loves the strange or the haunted and it is available on Netflix Stream. 

The Ghost of Six Flags

 

Everyone has heard of six flags.  Throughout the country,  these parks are known for there thrilling rides that become increasingly more terrifying and death defying.  This year when we went to Six Flags in Atlanta,  we found a roller coaster that goes straight up at a 90 degree angle and descends at the same nauseating angle.  There was a roller coaster that puts you on your stomach, like superman, and twirls you around.  There is ever manner of terrifying ride, but the rides are not the only horrifying thing at Six Flags, Atlanta.

Just a little bit of research into the Six Flag theme parks reveals that death seems to linger around these amusement park like a grim specter.   Here are a few examples of some of the deaths and injuries that occurred at Six Flags:
*On May 11, 1984, eight teenage visitors were trapped and killed when the Haunted Castle attraction was destroyed by fire.
*On June 17, 1987, a 19-year-old woman died after falling from the Lightnin' Loops shuttle loop roller coaster.
*On June 28, 2008, a 17-year-old male was decapitated  by a passing train  of Batman the Ride in Atlanta after he hopped two six-foot fences and entered a restricted area. Initial reports said that the victim was allegedly trying to grab the feet of a rider as the train went by; later reports said that the victim was merely trying to retrieve a hat.
*On July 18, 1989, an 11-year-old boy became unconscious while riding Z-Force. Park staff performed CPR, but the victim was pronounced dead after being taken to the hospital.

If you enjoy these stories, wikipedia has an entire page dedicated to deaths and injuries at the Six Flag amusement parks.  Some are clearly caused by the stupidity of the guests, others are caused by park problems, but the sheer volume of them makes them an interesting read.

Strangely, the ghost of Six Flags in Atlanta doesn't have an origin story.   Most haunted amusement park ghosts have a back story.  The Disney ghosts all died somewhere near the ride they haunt and you would expect the same of Six Flags.   However, the ghost of Six Flags is just a little girl.   She is said to wander the park looking for the lost and lonely.  She picks them out of the crowd and asks for help.   The hapless victim inevitably tries to help the little girl.   She leads them into the woods around the park and when the victim turns the girl vanishes leaving the victim somewhat lost and completely confused. 

I didn't see any ghosts when I went to Six Flags, nor did I see any death or mayhem.  All I saw was happiness and sunshine and several teens vomiting in the trashcan after a particularly nauseating ride.  It is interesting to think, however, that behind the screaming crowds a little girl ghost wanders forever searching for her next victim.

The Remains of American Adventures

One of my favorite blogs is Above the Norm, http://above-the-norm.blogspot.com/.  This blog features many photos of forgotten and abandoned places.  They are both beautiful and haunting.  I thought of this blog when I went to White Water in Atlanta with my children this weekend.  Oddly, the entire water park seems to be surrounded by an abandoned amusement park.  Old rides, thick with ivy, surround the park.   Abandoned buildings sit in the parking lot speaking of forgotten places with sad stories.  It seemed to me an odd place to have a water park, next to the skeletal remains of a dead amusement park, but the story is simpler than it seems.

Wikipedia described the history of this dead park in one brief paragraph:   "First opened in 1990, the American Adventures family entertainment center operated next door to White Water, even using the same parking lot. This facility included a number of common carnival rides and other attractions geared towards families with small children. While the park was a separate gate from White Water, the two promoted each other often, to the point of having a connecting pathway between the two park entrances. When Six Flags acquired White Water in 1999, American Adventures was included in the purchase, and the park was considered one of Six Flags' minor parks. However, in May 2008, the park was leased to a new operator, Zuma Holdings, which no longer co-branded the park with Six Flags White Water. In 2010, American Adventures closed its doors for good, citing "circumstances beyond our control."

As Miss California USA likes to define it: gay marriage v. "opposite" marriage

I promised you conflicting views regarding my thoughts on marriage. I've shown  you I'm quite conservative with regard to my thoughts of the actual institution of marriage....but I'm completely and utterly liberal when it comes to the applicability. You see, I don't see how being gay makes any difference when it comes to honoring marriage vows. I don't see how offering them the same rights as us people wanting to engage in "opposite marriage" would degrade the institution at all--our divorce rate is already 50% and I'm pretty sure gay people are just as capable as the straights as having loving, monogamous, life-long marriages. So, why do I think the whole gay marriage argument is a drain on our resources when we could be focusing our considerable energies elsewhere? Let me explain....

First and foremost, marriage is not strictly a religious commitment. A wedding can be a religious ceremony, but people have been getting married far before the dawn of Christianity ever presumed to classify marriage as having religious ties. Marriage has a colorful and sometimes ridiculous history, and much of it is inapplicable today. It used to be people married for economic reasons. In many cultures, women were treated as chattel, and were often given to the highest bidder or the person with the most beneficial familial ties. Apparently, though, (from my hurried reading on the subject) the engagement ring seems to present across the board--from as far back as ancient Rome, it was thought that the roundness symbolized eternity, or a union that would last forever. It was also thought that the left finger (the "ring finger") had a vein that ran directly to the heart. Perhaps most significant, and what I think renders the religious fundamentalists' arguments moot, is the fact that even if people are married in a church, they still are not recognized as married by the state until they fill out the paperwork and make it official. The eyes of God and the eyes of the law are completely different beasts, people.

Apparently, same-sex unions do have a long history, and it is believed that such unions were celebrated in ancient Greece and Rome, some regions of China, and ancient Europe. According to Wiki (my favoritest source, y'all), "The first documented same-sex marriage was between the two men Pedro Díaz and Muño Vandilaz in the Galician municipality of Rairiz de Veiga in Spain on April 16, 1061. They were married by a priest at a small chapel. The historic documents about the church wedding were found at Monastery of San Salvador de Celanova.^[60]"

 Many people compare denying gay people the right to marry to the now antiquated (and thankfully so) taboo that used to be associated with interracial marriage. It's true: many of the same arguments the anti-gay marriage movement is using are the same arguments advanced two hundred and fifty years ago...and even less than fifty years ago regarding interracial marriage.  "The children stand to lose" or "the Bible says it is abominable" or "it's unnatural" or (my personal favorite) "it's against the law." Now, with one in every 15 marriages deemed as interracial, a lot of people have forgotten these arguments. I, unfortunately, have heard them as recently as a few years ago, because I come from a small town of often uneducated people.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I sincerely hope that the Supreme Court of the United States holds laws against gay marriage as unconstitutional. Arkansas has already gone a step in the right direction when it held that the laws regarding gay people adopting were unconstitutional. I'm hoping I can one day tell my children how gay people were refused this right, and they be shocked and disbelieving. I hope for a future people are allowed to marry the person they love, regardless of whether they are the same sex as them.

I hope for a future where "gay marriage" and "opposite marriage" don't exist....just marriage does.

Til Death (or Divorce) Do We Part....

Subject of the week next two days: marriage. I've never been married, so I make these observations looking in the window from the outside, although it does not make my complaints/observations/points any less valid. I say the next two days because I wanted to counter my two different views of this noble institution regarding both my conservative and liberal ideas on the matter. Tomorrow, you get to see me address the exciting issue of gay marriage. Today, we'll just discuss the overall idea of marriage.

I've read several articles recently regarding marriage; apparently it's all the craze to think nowadays that marriage is antiquated and a broken institution. Stars have been quoted as saying so, so it must be right, right guys? The newly divorced Scarlett Johansson possibly foreshadowed her tragic breakup with the delicious Ryan Reynolds a couple years ago when she discussed how people were not inherently monogamous animals and it was ridiculous to think we should be. Brad Pitt and the husband-stealing, obvious-marriage-hating Angelina Jolie are happily raising a brood of children outside the constraints of marriage. Eva Mendes thinks "the husband and wife thing" are "unsexy." Cameron Diaz apparently views marriage as a set of traditions that don't apply to our world any longer (although she apparently loves men...apparently a lot of men). Gold Hawn has been quoted as saying "I wake up every day knowing I can walk out at any moment. It's [that knowledge] that keeps things fresh."

OH THE CRAZINESS!!!! WHERE TO START, PEOPLE? WHERE TO START............

Let's define marriage for a second. It's not a wedding; it's not necessarily a religious gesture; it's not even about the damn benefits that are associated with the institution. Hell, it's not even a damn institution. IT'S A COMMITMENT. The biggest problem I've seen nowadays is that people approach the subject of marriage as something that is tenuous at best--if it doesn't work out, we can always get a divorce. People view it like a dinner you buy at a restaurant that you can send back if you don't like how it tastes. People go to Vegas to get hitched; they marry after two months of dating; they sometimes have shotgun weddings; and sometimes, they do it because they have been together so long that it seems to be the logical thing to do. 

Let me clarify: those reasons all suck ass. If you are going to get married because you are drunk in Vegas, then you should walk in front of a train. Seriously. Just do it and save us the future ramifications of all your bad decisions you will almost certainly be making. If you get married because you're too damn chickenshit to hurt someone's feelings, you are failing at life. If you get married for ANY REASON other than wanting to spend a lifetime committed to one other human being, a decision upon which you've reflected, and which you understand comes with the good and the bad, then you ARE THE PROBLEM WITH THE "INSTITUTION" OF MARRIAGE. It ain't marriage that's broke, it's the fucktards that are arbitrarily getting married that have fucked over this system beyond recognition.

Understand I don't premise these harsh statements based upon my religious beliefs (or lack thereof for that matter). It's good common sense and a sense of self-preservation that leads me to make these judgments. I also don't think divorce should never be utilized (I am a future lawyer after all)--but at the same time, it shouldn't be the option to your marriage not working. It should be an option after counseling, after trying, and after talking to your spouse. It shouldn't be your safety hatch. It shouldn't be your "out." It shouldn't be the norm!

Case in point: when I was younger and dating an asshole for a long while, a lot of people asked me when I was getting married. I was 21, but again, I'm from the south, where you're considered an old maid at the tender age of 23. I actually had a girl ask me when I was getting married, and when I told her I wanted to graduate from undergrad, then law school, and get a job before I ever considered marriage, she asked me whether I wanted to have kids.  Me: your ovaries don't fall off at 26!!!!!!!!!!!! (This is an entirely different problem, but I'm not going to go there right now.) I seemed opposed to marriage, and even got a comment from the asshole at the time about how I was "fundamentally opposed to marriage." CLARIFICATION: I was opposed to marriage with him. Yes, I stayed in the relationship because I was lazy and because it was easier than "hurting his feelings" (aka: chickenshit), but there was no fucking way in hell I was marrying the dude. Self-preservation, y'all. 

And now, I'm in an amazing relationship with Leonidas. I do think about marriage now, but when I imagine it, it's not the wedding I'm considering: it's the commitment. He's someone I'm willing to be committed to: I don't want him to change (girls, if you want a guy to change, dump him, because he ain't gonna and you're wasting your time trying), his good habits outweigh his bad, we always have something to talk about, we're committed to each other, and, oh yeah, we love each other and don't want to be with anyone else. (This means ever, you asshole cheater Arnold types that apparently thinks marriage equates to someone having to have sex with you and sex with other people when your spouse doesn't oblige.)

So Eva, I'm not sure how being someone's wife makes you unsexy, but okay. Cameron, the traditions of marriage seem to be right on point: marry someone you love and want to be with the rest of your life, don't fuck around with someone else, and maintain mutual respect for your spouse while continuing to grow in your relationship. Those seem to be pretty fucking good traditions. Goldie, thinking about how you could leave doesn't keep things fresh--it keeps things uncertain. You can leave if you're married; you can leave if you are not. I don't see how a certificate of marriage makes the difference. Angelina Jolie: you can bite me, you husband-stealing, brother-frenching jerk. And Scarlett, I'm not sure if you or Ryan had a problem with monogamy or not, but for God's sake, if you can't be monogamous with Ryan Renolds and his eight abs and seemingly sweet personality, then maybe you should phone Charlie Sheen and get some advice about dealing with sexual addiction (winning).

All joking aside, I'm conservative in my views on marriage. I don't think people should rush, I don't think they should consider divorce as a reasonable alternative if things aren't all sunshine and roses all the time, and I don't think most people give marriage due consideration before jumping into it headfirst. Perhaps if we did, people wouldn't say it was broken. Perhaps if we would consider our future with that person, rather than the present time, our divorce rate would be lower. Perhaps if people stopped equating marriage with an integral chapter in one's life, they would allow it to happen rather than forcing it to. 

Or perhaps I'm a little old-fashioned. Regardless, I'd rather stay out of divorce court, thank you very much.

Conservative upbringing, liberal application, moderate success

I grew up in the deep south, where most people I know consider "liberal" to be a dirty word (including my father, Danny, although I won't go into that). I was raised in the Baptist church, largely synonymous with Bible-thumping, brimstone preaching, and evangelical savings in the summer. I was dunked in eighth grade, STILL have t-shirts with my 6-year old handprints on it from Vacation Bible School, and drew the line in the sand regarding racism prevalent in our youth group in ninth grade. My parents brought me up in a small town, and I had the same elementary teachers as my father. My hometown, to this day, celebrates a Civil War reenactment once a year where men march for 20 miles to get to the battle field, ride horses while shooting pretend guns, and blow up the pond (rain or shine). I have gotten lost in the woods in my backyard, had poison ivy more times than I could count, and nursed baby animals back to health with my parents' help. I've gotten my ass whooped by my parents (who didn't pretend that this was going to hurt them more than it was going to hurt me), and on occasion, had to pick out Cyd's switch while he picked out mine after particularly nasty rounds of fisticuffs. I grew up with everyone knowing my name, in a tolerant family who didn't use race as a determinative factor of character, and will be the first lawyer in my entire family.

I'm proud of my roots, and I carry a lot of the same views as my parents. However, some of my views are inherently different than theirs, though we try not to hold it against each other. My dad and I, for the sake of not fighting, do not argue about religion or politics, because nothing good will ever come out of it (Danny is a birther, and apparently thinks Obama is from Africa, even after the "fake" birth certificate was released--not going to touch that with a ten foot pole). I didn't vote for Obama...I'm more of a Hillary kind of person, myself, which my dad will never.ever.get. My mother is more liberal than my father, but still drives me crazy because she doesn't believe in donating her organs because they might kill her for her body parts (and always thinks she's right, but again, not going to touch that). Regardless, I'm thankful for them allowing me to make my own decisions and form my own viewpoints, which is more than most kids have going for them.

I began this particular blog to discuss the issue of marriage, but instead, I think I'm going to use it as a prologue for the next couple of days' entries. I'll use it to preface my thoughts regarding a few different topics I believe in, and let it stand as is.

Unlike many moderates/liberals, I'm not ashamed of my conservative background. I may not be jumping on a tea party bandwagon, but I definitely think there's a lot to be learned from either side of the party lines, and am glad I was raised with an open mind and the chance to cut past the partisan bullshit. It's important to have a dialogue in order to grow, and I have the chance to engage in that dialogue every time I go home.

Thanks, Danny and Maxine, even if I sometimes think you're kinda crazy.